


Nice to Know

by queen_scribbles



Series: Straight Up Truth [4]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 01:12:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16007171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_scribbles/pseuds/queen_scribbles
Summary: Sometimes, you can't save everyone. Sometimes, it's not your fault. And sometimes, your girlfriend needs to remind you of that(and you need to remind her).





	Nice to Know

 

Jaaide was no stranger to failure. She was also rather experienced with narrow escapes, "inevitable casualties", making hard calls, and the equally inevitable ghosts that came with them. As an agent and a leader both, she'd grown accustomed to taking responsibility for allies lost on her missions.  
  
So it really shouldn't have surprised her that Theron did the same thing. And on one level, it didn't. The Republic put far more emphasis on saving everyone they could, and minimizing casualties, and all those other idealistic views that had earned her lectures and suspicion all through her training. Even all his years as a spy couldn't have _completely_ dulled the hope that just once everyone would live.

_"I tried. Couldn't get them all away in time."_  

It echoed in her head, his tone breaking her heart. If not for their own dire straits, she would've said something, tried to console him. But with the battle cruiser coming down around their ears, she had to settle for plotting out what to say as she and Senya picked their way through flaming debris and skirted gaping holes in the floor. It was a near thing, their escape; the shuttle and the _Gravestone_ both taking a beating in the process. And then came the knife-twist of SCORPIO's betrayal. One more "ally" who stabbed her in the back for their own ends. At least with SCORPIO she'd been expecting it, sort of, ever since Belsavis. It was almost enough to dull the guilt when Lana took her to task for Admiral Ranken's death. Almost.  
  
"Lana, I _tried_ to save everyone," Jaaide pointed out wearily, the guilt still mounting in waves. "Of course I don't view our people as expendable. We just ran out of time. I'm sorry."  
  
Theron cleared his throat, shooting her a look she couldn't quite decipher. "Jaaide, you want to help me check on the engines? We took some pretty good hits, and I want to make sure we're okay to get back to Odessen."  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Sure." _Well, now I won't have to hunt him down for a talk when we get back._   
  
"You two better not... _**do** _ anything down there," Koth called over his shoulder as they left the cockpit.  
  
"Well, so much for wondering if anyone knows about us," Theron muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"It's not really a _surprise_ is it?" Jaaide asked. "I mean, it's been a few months, and--ironically, given our line of work--we haven't really been _subtle_."  
  
"True."  
  
They were both silent the rest of the way down, absorbing and processing the events and losses of the last few hours. The engine room was blessedly empty when they reached it--probably due to the acrid tang of oil smoke still hanging in the air. Fully intending there to be more than fixing going on--though not in the manner Koth intimated, Jaaide shut and locked the door behind them. _No sense letting the smoke out_ would be a passable excuse.  
  
"It wasn't your fault." They said it at the same time, then blinked at each other in bemused surprise.  
  
"After you, _boss_ ," Theron said with a wave of his hand as he opened the diagnostic panel on the nearest power core. "Please, explain to me how my not being fast enough _wasn't_ my fault."  
  
"Well, for starters, you were battling through self-destruct protocols set up by an _extremely_ intelligent droid," Jaaide pointed out, mimicking his actions at the next pylon over. "On top of that, you had to wait for me to tell you who to launch ne-"  
  
"Is that why you think this is your fault?" he interrupted, looking over at her.   
  
She shrugged, briefly biting her lip before she replied, "That, and I'm the one in charge. Losses are my responsibility by default."  
  
Theron snorted. "Really? No passing the blame to a lower man on the totem pole?"  
  
"I don't work like that and you know it," Jaaide countered, "and even if I did, _**you** _ aren't a lower man on the totem pole. I may be the figurehead and the technical commander of the Alliance, but I know _exactly_ how important you are, as well. All of our contacts, all of the allies we've gathered, we have them because of you. You have an important job and you are _good_ at what you do, so there is no way in hell I am going to let you sit there and take blame for something that's not your fault."  
  
He was silent for long enough she completed the diagnostic she was running and closed the panel.  
  
She glanced over, caught him staring at her. "Theron?"  
  
"...I _really_ want to kiss you right now," Theron muttered hoarsely.  
  
A small smile quirked her lips. "What's stopping you?" _Certainly not me_.  
  
He must have come to the same conclusion, because he crossed the space between them them with a single long stride and kissed her so gently it could almost be called chaste. "Thank you." A teasing note crept in, but she could still tell he was touched. "Nice to know I'm appreciated."  
  
In answer, Jaaide grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him into another, deeper kiss that left both of them breathing hard. "How about, rather than arguing if it's your fault or mine, we blame the GEMINI captain and SCORPIO?"  
  
Theron paused as if mulling it over before he nodded. "I think that's a good plan. Makes sense. And it's one less ghost to carry."  
  
"Stars know we have enough already," she mumbled, earning another kiss before he stepped away to get back to work. The silence returned, but it was companionable rather than heavy, broken only by occasional mechanical noise as they ran diagnostics and made minor repairs. The engine room had mercifully been spared major damage, so not much needed doing. They had almost finished with the last set of pylons when a sharp, electrical crackle cut through the air, followed by Theron swearing under his breath.  
  
"You alright?" Jaaide asked, looking up from her own task and swinging the access panel closed.  
  
"Just startled me is all," he brushed it off, but something in his voice--well, combined with the faint smell of burnt leather and flesh--made her think he was lying.  
  
" _Theron_."  
  
"Jaaide." He smirked a little at the look that earned him.  
  
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Let me _see_."  
  
Theron gave a sigh of his own--resigned more than exasperated--and turned to hold out his hand. "It's really nothing. I've had _much_ worse."  
  
"Doesn't make this any less serious," she countered, arching a brow. "Glove off."  
  
He gingerly worked his hand free and held it out again. "See? Nothing."  
  
Jaaide had to tamp down the urge to bop him on the head. "This is not nothing. Just because it doesn't hurt yet doesn't mean everything is fine." Her thumb brushed over the reddened, not-quite-bleeding section of his palm, her other fingers carefully spread under his hand to support it. "It _is_ just a mild burn," she conceded, "but it could still get infected, and we don't need that."  
  
Theron was quiet, watching her as she fished in one of her belt pouches and pulled out a bacta patch and synthskin. "Always prepared, huh?"  
  
"Only when I'm planning to commandeer an enemy battle cruiser with five people and a droid," she dryly. "I'm a _medic_ , Theron. It's my job to be prepared for this particular circumstance."  
  
"Very true." His fingers twitched slightly as she smoothed on the patch, and it took far more willpower than she wanted to admit not to just _stare_ at his hand. Memorize the lines of it and run her fingers over the callouses and knicks. "But you're good at your job, too."  
  
Jaaide redirected her thoughts from their fast track to the gutter. "Thank you." She curled her hand over his, pressing firmly to make sure the synthskin would stay, as she murmured, "Nice to know I'm appreciated."  
  
The two of them stared at their joined hands for a long moment, Jaaide's thumb brushing lightly over the heel of his hand, before Theron coughed sheepishly and slipped free. "I think that's good."  
  
"Yeah?" She watched him flex his fingers and tug off his other glove. "Y'think we're all set?"  
  
"I think we've been down here long enough Koth's gonna worry we're _doing stuff_ in his engine room," he said, closing the last of the access panels. "So we should probably get back to the cockpit and ease his fears."  
  
"Well, I _did_ start to undress you," Jaaide teased, shooting a significant look at his gloves. "And we _did_ kiss."  
  
"Mm, several times," Theron nodded, smiling as he linked his fingers between hers (even if the smile didn't _quite_ reach his eyes, it was a start). "And you locked the door."  
  
"I may as well have hung out a 'do not disturb' sign," she deadpanned, fighting a grin. "He must be frantic."  
  
A quick, keyed-in command and the door slid open. Bringing them face to face with a mildly frantic, _very_ disgruntled looking Koth Vortena. "You lovebirds finish what you came down here to do?"  
  
"As a matter of fact, we did," Jaaide replied airily, tugging Theron down for a kiss as they skirted the pilot, pointedly ignoring the innuendo. "And we even behaved ourselves."  
  
Koth snorted. "Well, that's nice to kn-"  
  
"Mostly."  
  
They didn't stick around long enough to catch his reaction.  
  
"But you're alright?" Jaaide whispered as they hastened away, squeezing Theron's hand. _I just want to be sure_.  
  
He squeezed back and gave her a grateful smile. "I will be." 

_Well, that’s nice to know._


End file.
